Holding Space for Grief: Supporting Teens and College Students Through Thanksgiving

The holiday season is often described as a time of warmth, connection, and gratitude. Families gather around tables, share familiar recipes, and reflect on what they’re thankful for. But for those who are grieving, Thanksgiving can carry a much heavier emotional weight.

For teens and college-aged students, grief during the holidays can feel particularly complex. They’re already navigating so many transitions — growing independence, shifting family dynamics, and the emotional intensity of adolescence or young adulthood. When loss is added to that mix, the holiday table can feel emptier in more ways than one.

As a parent or caregiver, you may find yourself wondering how to support your teen or young adult when their world feels off balance. The truth is, they don’t need you to have the perfect words or grand gestures. What they need most is your presence, empathy, and patience.

One of the most healing things you can do is to acknowledge the loss out loud. Avoiding mention of the person who has died doesn’t protect your teen; in fact, it can deepen their sense of isolation. Saying something as simple as, “I miss them too,” lets your teen know that it’s okay to speak about their loved one and that grief has a place at the table. Sharing a memory or reflecting together can create small moments of connection amidst sadness.

Grief doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. In young people, it can manifest as sadness, irritability, withdrawal, or even unexpected bursts of laughter that catch everyone off guard. Rather than judging or trying to fix these emotions, allow them to exist. Let your teen know it’s okay to feel however they feel — that they don’t have to put on a cheerful face just because it’s Thanksgiving. When they see you making room for all emotions, they learn that grief is something to be carried, not hidden.

Traditions can also be tender territory. Some rituals bring comfort, while others may stir up pain. Before assuming what’s best, ask your teen how they feel about continuing or changing certain traditions. They might want to keep a chair open in memory of the person who’s gone, cook their favorite dish, or light a candle in their honor. Or they might prefer to do something entirely new, such as volunteering together, taking a walk, or watching a different movie this year. Giving them a voice in how to remember and move forward can make the holiday more meaningful and less overwhelming.

It’s also important to be gentle with expectations. Grief can drain energy and motivation, especially during emotionally charged seasons. If your college-aged child doesn’t want to attend every gathering or seems quieter than usual, try to offer understanding instead of pressure. A simple “Would you like to join us, or do you need some time?” communicates respect for their emotional needs while still keeping the door open to connection.

Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is simply be there. You don’t have to talk about the loss constantly, and you don’t have to fill the silence. Sitting side by side, cooking a meal, taking a drive, or watching a favorite show can all communicate care without words. If you notice that your teen or young adult is struggling deeply, showing signs of hopelessness, persistent withdrawal, or guilt, consider suggesting therapy or counseling. Grief has no set timeline, and professional support can help them process emotions in a healthy way.

Finally, remember that gratitude and grief can exist together. You can be thankful and heartbroken simultaneously. Modeling that truth helps young people understand that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. You might say, “I’m grateful for the love we still share, even though this year feels different.” This kind of honesty invites authenticity rather than forced optimism.

Thanksgiving is often portrayed as a season of abundance and joy, but it can also be a time of deep reflection. When loss is part of the story, the most meaningful gift we can offer is compassion — both to ourselves and to those we love. Grief doesn’t vanish with the holidays, but with empathy, patience, and connection, healing can find its way to the table too.

If your teen or college-aged child is struggling to cope this holiday season, EverWell Counseling is here to help. Our therapists specialize in supporting young people and families through loss, transitions, and emotional overwhelm.

Reach out today to schedule a session — and take the next step toward healing, together.